Where do I start?

As in ancient civilizations, today the most popular are the phallic-shaped devices , so-called Dildos . Dildos are introduced into the anus of men or the vagina of women who may also receive stimulation from rubbing against the clitoris.

This device allows the user to have complete control over the level, speed and type of movement and angle of penetration, which depends on the tastes of everyone.

The dildos are sold in all imaginable shapes and sizes, although some seem to real penises, testicles due to the perfect detailing of a body of flesh and bone. Are manufactured in wide range of plastics (latex or silicone rubber), and even wood or metal, but perhaps what is less varied in thickness, since the range extends from 2.5 to 7.5 centimeters (1 to 3 inches ) in diameter.

There are toys that have such a handle or base that allows hands-free, or that can be fastened to the waist of one of the participants by adjustable belts, so that it is possible to simulate a more detailed male penetration which are also known as “Strap On Dildos”.

It should be noted that any type of dildo should be used for penetration with a lubricant, whether it be placed in vagina or anus, since the introduction of this form will be safe, comfortable and prevent injuries. Now, if as part of the game is the exchange of dildos, it is best to place a new condom for each sexual contact, because the material or clefts can host blood, urine, semen or vaginal secretions contaminated with microorganisms that may lead to infections or sexually transmitted diseases. This is closely related to the hygiene of the product as, for example, if the dildo is changed from the vagina to the anus and / or mouth, also involves pathogens from one place to another. It is therefore im portant to wash vigorously with soap and warm water every time you go through a different part of the body.

If you intend to find a variation in your sex life, these tools can be a “strong” tool, but note that the size you choose depends on the use for which it will allocate, for example, many are ideal for vaginal penetration, but are uncomfortable for anal sex. Some other additions are to stimulate the clitoris and can be combined with other toys .

Prefer those made with durable material to ensure that will not break easily, those made from silicon are the most convenient, but also the most expensive, especially for being a flexible and non-porous material that allows better cleaning.

Which makes you vibrate

As mentioned earlier, the dildo is as old as mankind, and its more modern version is the vibrator, which has a mechanism activated by electricity, or batteries, which makes going into vibration in different intensities. The sensation produced in the genital area is highly stimulating to the degree that can lead to orgasm in a few seconds.

In the market there are wide range of models available, including those with special accessories for the stim ulation of the clitoris or anus, although the most modern spin and move and even rotate the glans (head of the penis) or ones which can be used under water.

On the other hand, are on the market electric vibrators with attachments to stimulate different parts of the body such as testicles, neck, penis, clitoris, legs, feet or the point G.

More

If you have not visited a sex shop recently, you might and you will realize the variety of sex toys and tools that will make even more pleasurable intimate relationship. Until that happens, here are some of the most popular:

Oils : These liquids are the best tool for a good massage, which may well be the gateway to sensuality, as it is played through them, press, rub or beat rhythmically regions of the body, internal or external, that generate pleasure. Some of these products have flavors for oral sex which is even more attractive and fun.

Penis Rings : They are placed at the base of the penis with testicles in front of or behind after having achieved an erection, so that it is kept to hold the blood. The risk is that if used for long can cause too much pain and prevent the passage of blood to body tissues which can tend to die slowly. Are usually made from plastic , rubber, leather or metal, in either case it is important to exercise extreme hygiene and wash before and after each use wi th mild soap and water because they can harbor harmful microorganisms. There are rings that have special attachments that can stimulate the clitoris during sexual partner known as – Vibrating Cock Rings.

The market also offers an option that is very popular among the male homosexual community, Smart Balls from Fun Factory which are two or more balls linked by a rope, which were introduced in the year after being lubricated, leaving the end of the cord out. The intention is to give instant orgasms by gently pulling the rope and exit the areas one by one, which increases the pleasure. Some ladies enjoy playing with them in the same way and also by inserting in vagina and than removing them one by one. Cases. Genital fondling items like rabbit finger vibe that are placed on the fingers by applying lubricant to allow fondling penises, vaginas and anus with a pleasant sensation, usually made of latex, plastic material.

As a final recommendation to suggest that if you use one of several sex toys and you experience rash, itching or swelling of skin, discontinue use and seek as soon as possible a female gynecologist urologist or male experts to recognize that if it is some kind of allergy to materials that are produced artifacts, such as latex or other plastic, and indicate the treatment.

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Hi, this is Dean Cortez, creator of the Mack Tactics program — the top guide for guys who want to become massively skilled and attractive with women. One of most common questions I get asked is, how to ask a girl out. Here are tips on how to ask a girl out that should help you overcome any nervousness, and get her say “yes” instead of turning you down, or telling you she’s busy…

1. First, don’t think about this as “asking a girl out on a date.” When you ask a woman out in the traditional way, and you frame it as a “date,” you are already putting yourself in a weak position. You’re basically communicating to her, “I obviously like you, and I’m hoping you’ll like me, too, so let me spend some money on you in an attempt to show you I’m worthy of dating you.” You want to frame it differently. Rather than asking her out on a “normal date,” you want to invite her to ACCOMPANY YOU to some cool, interesting spot that you think she would enjoy. This way, the message you are sending is this: you’re a fun guy who has an active social life and knows about cool places, and this is HER chance to be a part of your interesting world and broaden her horizons.

You want to phrase it so that it sounds like you are planning to do this activity ANYWAY, so if she can’t join you for whatever reason (maybe she actually IS busy), it’s not like she is rejecting you. When you call her to make this “invite,” have your gameplan already worked out. (The WORST way to ask a girl out — and this is how most guys do it — is to say something vague like, “So maybe if you’re free sometime, we could do something…” No. You’ve got to make it EASY for her to say “yes.” You do this by laying out a gameplan that includes the time and location, and sounds cool and interesting. The more SPECIFIC you are, the less chance there is of her making an excuse to back out. Example: “So Cindy, I’m planning to visit this arts festival on Saturday that I hear is going to be amazing. I can tell that you’ve got a creative, artistic side, and this is something you’re definitely going to love, so you should come along with me on Saturday. I can pick you up at 1 o’clock.” Or, “I’m super busy for the next few days, but on Friday night I’m going to swing by this amazing Mexican restaurant that I discovered. This place is a hidden gem, I swear they have the most awesome margaritas in town. You should come with me, I can pick you up before I head over there. Say, 8 o’clock.”

As far as where you bring her, there are a endless possibilities. It could be a cool coffee shop, a bar, an outdoor festival, a show at an art gallery, a free concert in the park, a cool part of town that has funky shops and boutique stores where you want to do some shopping…the bottom line is that it needs to be a place you can get her EXCITED about visiting with you. You need to “sell” it to her. 2. To increase your chances of her agreeing to the plan, present her with a “false choice.” Invite her to do something that can be done on Friday OR Saturday. (Assuming she does not work on the weekends.) For example, you could say, “This weekend, I need to shop for a birthday gift for my friend Mike. I want to get him a really cool shirt, or a pair of jeans — something trendy. I’d love to get your opinion on it — why don’t you come shopping with me. What’s better for you, Saturday or Sunday?” (Now she isn’t thinking in terms of accepting the invite, or turning it down — she’s thinking, “hmmm, am I free on Saturday, or is Sunday better?”

Night-time activities (going out for drinks) is always cool, but daytime dates can also be very effective. If you tend to get nervous on dates, daytime dates — that involve walking around with her — will help you burn off nervous energy. Outdoor shopping malls and street festivals are perfect for this. And by strolling around with her and checking out different things, you’ll have a constant supply of conversational topics.

Notice that NONE of the activities that I suggested including taking her out to dinner, or to a movie. These are typical “dates” that frame you as an ordinary dude who is trying to court her and win her approval. Plus, taking her to dinner requires to spend a substantial amount of money (which should never be necessary on a first date), and taking her a movie isn’t going to help you make any progress. How are you supposed to display your personality and get her attracted to you, when you’re sitting next to her in the dark for two hours and being silent?

When you use these ideas, and then follow it up with the conversational strategies that I explain in the Mack Tactics book, your dating success rate is going to skyrocket. I can tell you from my own personal experience, when I used to invite women to go to “dinner and a movie” and I’d spend $50-$75 on the evening, it rarely led to the results I wanted. But when I started inviting women to come with me and hang out in more interesting, casual settings — even if it was just meeting for coffee at a cozy, comfortable coffee shop — I found that the conversation would flow much more naturally and we would “bond.” There isnt any sense of pressure or expectations when you approach the first date this way. Neither person is comfortable when you ask a girl out to a fancy restaurant and try to impress her that way. For dozens of amazing conversational tactics and strategies to use with women, sure-fire techniques on how to ask a girl out, and tips on how to ESCALATE the situation towards romance, visit www.macktactics.com. Watch our free instructional videos, download our free book, and start turbo-charging your dating game NOW!

Dean Cortez is the creator of Mack Tactics, the top program for men who want to become more confident and successful with women. Visit the Mack Tactics website and you can download a free 95-page book filled with dating, pickup and seduction tips.

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Let’s assume you live alone or with one or two roommates who have decided to let you have the place to yourself for this historic occasion.  We’ll also assume that your place could use some sprucing up.  You’re having a girl over in hopes of making a great impression and eventually seducing her.  We’ll break this down into a two-day game plan of prep work and setup.  You’ll watch a movie and, gasp, make her dinner.  And you’ll do just fine.  Because you’ll be making Chicken with Mustard Mascarpone Marsala Sauce

.  Ok, space cadet, we’ve got work to do…

DAY   ONE — Pimp the Pad

House cleaning time.  Remember you’re having a girl over for a seductive meal, not pizza and

Playstation 3.  You’ll need to focus on three rooms:  the kitchen, the bathroom, and the living room.  If you have roommates, keep their doors closed to respect their privacy and prevent her from seeing something she really doesn’t want to see.  So get your cleaning supplies and let’s get started.

LIVING ROOM

Whether you have a 5×7 area or a sprawling living room space, your furniture’s gotta be clean. Take your dustbuster and clean between the sofa cushions and all over it.  Shoot it down with some Febreze…a lot to hold you over till tomorrow.  If you have leather furniture…pimp…but make sure it doesn’t have tears and rips she can spot from the door.  If you do have rips or if you have that naughahyde (fake leather or “pleather”) with rips and stuff, you can cover the couch with a throw.  Buy a cheap solid color blanket, fold it in half, and throw it over the back of the sofa.

For the flooring, if no carpet, sweep that bad boy and run a Swiffer WetJet across it TWICE.  If you have carpet and it is stained like a frat house, you’d better get some Resolve cleaner and get those stains out.  Take down the Scarface movie poster (you can put it back when she leaves) and show a tad bit of sophistication by putting up some vintage movie posters and frames.  Wal-Mart has some of these posters as well as some of your movie rental places.  Hide your MAXIM, FHM, and similar magazines, and go out and get Sports Illustrated or ESPN the Magazine, Details, Esquire, GQ, Rolling Stone, Entertainment Weekly…any combination of three…to place on your table.  If you’ve got picture frames around, make sure the pictures do not have your roommates and/or yourself doing something gross.  For scents, get some candles.  Incense is played out.

Hopefully, you have a decent television and a DVD player.  So what are you going to watch?  You can go two ways:  1) You can watch something you have already agreed upon.  2)”The Notebook”.  Just kidding.  Usually, I’d break out some old movies like “Casablanca” or an Audrey Hepburn movie.  (pause) Hepburn it is.  “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” or “Roman Holiday”.  Remember in “You, Me, and Dupree” how Owen Wilson’s Dupree loved watching Audrey Hepburn.  If you can pull off that fascination like he did…it’s quite easy because Audrey H. was so engaging…you’ll score points with your date.

BATHROOM

Bottom line:  You must have a clean bathroom.  Start with the bathtub.  Clean it all over with bathroom cleaner and disinfect it with Lysol.  Change your shower curtain liner and change your shower curtain if it is a mess.  Clean your sink the same way.  Put away out of sight all of your masculine products.  Scrub the hell out of your toilet till it shines.  Don’t use the stuff that makes your bowl water blue.  Drop about 4 Alka Seltzers in there, wait for 15 minutes, wash it around, and flush.  Make sure you have an empty wastebasket.  Have plenty of toilet paper available.  Girls use lots of toilet paper.  Weird, I know.  Place a couple of candles in there.  Ambiance.

DAY TWO – The Blessed Event

At the grocery store, this is your shopping list:

4 boneless chicken breasts / salt / black pepper / olive oil / butter / onion / 1 pound sliced mushrooms / 2 tablespoons minced garlic / dry marsala wine / 1 cup mascarpone cheese / Dijon mustard / chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves / 1 pound fettuccine / 2 bottles of white wine / wine glasses, if you don’t have any/ 6-pack of your favorite beer / lettuce / tomatoes / Texas Toast croutons / vinaigrette salad dressing / one of those cool salad dressing bottles that look like flower vases.

When you get home, clean your kitchen thoroughly.  You’re going to be cooking during the movie and she is going to watch you in action.  Make sure your dining table is clean.  Get one of those short but wide candles as a centerpiece and two votive candles on each side.  You’ll be making that chicken thing we talked about earlier.  This is one of Giada de Laurentiis’s recipes from Food Network.  Tell your date this is one of your grandma’s recipes.  Even though your grandma’s nowhere near as hot as Giada.

PREP WORK

Take a shower and have a beer.  One beer.  Play some music to get yourself psyched up.  Dress casually as if you were going out.  No jeans.  Nice shoes.  Ease up on cologne…she’s on your turf.  Pop in the DVD and press Pause.  Head to the kitchen and have two wine glasses at the ready.  She may like a beer.  She can have one next time she comes over.  Get a big bowl and break up the lettuce in it.  Cut your tomatoes up and add them along with the croutons.  Pour the vinaigrette into the dressing bottle and put in the fridge till she arrives.  Chop your onions.  Do not put on any music.  That is cliché like a son of a bitch.  Instead, leave the TV on something interesting like CNBC.  Light the candles in the living room to have the place smelling good until she arrives.

Knock, knock.  Oh, snap!  She’s here.  Showtime.

Open the door and let her in.  Compliment her on what she’s wearing.  Offer her a seat and something to drink.  Fix two glasses of wine and take it to the sofa.  Talk a little bit and tell her about the movie.  Politely excuse yourself and head to the kitchen.  Get out the chicken breasts and season them with salt and pepper.  Heat the olive oil in a skillet over high heat.  Add the chicken and brown them on all sides – 3 to 4 minutes per side.  Put the chicken aside on a plate.  While the chicken is browning, make two bowls of salad – hers first.  Let her check you out in the kitchen.  If her wine’s getting low, refill.  When you put the chicken aside, melt the butter (5 tbsps.), then throw in the ¾ chopped onions and saute them for two minutes.  Add the mushrooms and garlic and sauté under the mushrooms are tender, about 12 minutes.  Use this time to go ahead and start the movie.

Add 1 cup of the marsala wine.  Simmer until there is half of it for around six minutes.  Stir in one cup of the mascarpone cheese and mustard.  Cut the chicken up crossways, then put it in the skillet.  Simmer, uncovered, over medium-low heat until the chicken is cooked throughout  and the sauce thickens slightly.  Stir in the parsley.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Check in on your date and make sure her glass ain’t empty.

Get a pot out and boil some water.  Add salt to the water.  Once it is boiling, add the fettuccine and cook until it is al dente.  Should take about 7-8 minutes after you add the noodles.  Drain them in a colander and add the noodles back into the pot.  Add 3 tbsp. of butter, salt, and pepper to taste and toss the noodles around.  Go back to the movie for about 3-5 minutes.  Get closer to her on the sofa.

Lead her to the dinner table.  Pull out her seat like a gentleman.  Get out the plates and silverware.  Light the candles on the table.  On each plate, put some fettuccine on it and then the chicken and sauce on top.  Serve her first.  Refill your wine glasses and enjoy your meal.

When you’re done eating, go and finish the movie.  Make a move, assuming everything went smoothly.  I’m sure you can handle things from here.  Next time, you guys can do pizza and Playstation 3…maybe.

Chapter 1 – The Ad

Misconception #1: “the most important thing in getting women on the ‘net is an amazingly original, incredibly well written personal ad.”

Why is this a misconception?

For starters, we all know that in the real world women will usually not pick up guys, so it is fair to assume that this mentality extends to the virtual world as well. Not less important is the fact that there are many more men looking on the ‘net than women. Many women I talked to have told me that during the first weekend after they placed their ad they got about a hundred (yes, HUNDRED) replies. With that volume of emails to browse and weed through, most women don’t really have the time to browse men’s ads! They assume (and rightfully so) that all the men worth contacting have already sent them a reply.

Another thing worth mentioning here is something I learned from selling software: the best leads are the ones you have made the first contact with, not the ones that found you by “shopping around”! If you can create interest in a woman and have her reply to your message, there are much better chances this will develop to something. This is not some lady who browsed your ad and replied out of boredom, this is a lady that wants to get to know you.

Okay, so I’m not trying to tell you that your ad is totally unimportant, but it’s definitely not the most important thing. It should be simple, honest, clean (of spelling and grammar mistakes, as well as bad language) and straight to the point. Of course, sense of humor doesn’t hurt… but don’t spice it up too much or you’ll risk scaring people away. Oh… and don’t give away your life story and most intimate desires… leave A LOT to the imagination.

Remember: the purpose of your ad is to provide some basic information about you to the women you will write to. You can put your picture if you want but from my personal experience I found that it doesn’t really affect the number of replies.

Here’s the ad I placed:

Wouldn’t it be surprisingly wonderful for you to meet a very special man on the Internet? I know you might be skeptical but please read on. I’m intelligent, direct, very honest and a little goofballish (in a positive way… or so people say). I have a somewhat sarcastic sense of humor but I know when to restrain myself. I like to talk and love to listen to other people and usually don’t have problems making friends. I look good (most people are able to look at me without throwing up) and I have great looking eyes (thanks mom). I work with computers but I like to spend my time with people. Sounds interesting? Here’s what I’m looking for: a woman (not a girl) in her twenties, who is intelligent, honest, mature, attractive and who doesn’t smoke. I’m looking for someone with a great sense of humor (sarcasm preferred), who can talk about anything and everything, who likes to have fun both outdoors and indoors and who is independent yet not afraid to let someone into her life and share her emotions. If this sounds like you then please reply and we’ll take it from there.

As you can see, some basic information about me and what I’m looking for with the occasional smart-ass remark (after all, I can’t deny who I am). Women who replied to my ad wrote that they liked it because it seemed that I have a pretty good idea of what I was looking for…

Chapter 2 – Your First Email

Misconception #2: “girls don’t really read your first email. They simply check out your ad and then decide whether to reply.”

Why is this a misconception?

Because, as mentioned in chapter 1, the high quality girls will simply not have time to read all the replies they get.

I found the first email to be the most crucial element of “online seduction”. The problem is that you must make her notice your email and the trick here is to set yourself apart from the crowd.

Consider the typical formulaic email most guys send:

Subject: Hello There!

Hi InternetChick! I read your ad and I thought you were really interesting and I’d like to get to know you better. So… why don’t you read my profile and write back. I’d love to hear from you soon,

SomeGuy

Now, compare it with this one:

Subject: And now for something completely different

InternetChick is sitting in front of her computer reading through many emails of guys that seem to have only one thing on their mind. It’s boring, it’s repetitive and she usually just hits the “Delete” button after reading the first paragraph…

Unless she really likes it… which she does…

“Here’s an interesting one” she thinks to herself as she’s reading Krynnster’s message. “This guy is different”. She smiles, “and he thinks he can read my mind and tell me what I think”. She laughs and then a new thought creeps into her mind: “I must reply… must reply… must reply…” (fadeout effect) “… must reply and find out who he is…”.

Questions start running through her mind: “Is he for real?”, “he can’t be just another guy” and “why is he insisting on this strange yet oddly appealing writing style?”. Questions… questions… so many questions…

And, still, the words echo in her mind… “must reply… must reply… must reply…”

Boo!

K.

Okay, so this seemed just a little bit over the top didn’t it? But I did use a very similar text and got some very enthusiastic replies! I sent this message to girls whose writing style (in their ads) indicated that they might be open to this kind of “humor”. It worked like magic…

Remember: the purpose of the first email is to get the woman curious and have her reply with or without checking out your ad. If your ad is well written, it will only make the woman more curious about you and she will most likely reply.

Chapter 3 – Getting the Digits

Misconception #3: “online seduction is a lengthy process.”

This is wrong! If you spend too much time online with a lady you will become her virtual pen pal and you don’t want that!

The truth is that if you get a reply to your first email it means that the woman liked it, probably read through your ad and is VERY interested to find more about you. The email you will get will have a lot of questions and you have to capitalize on her high interest level and move things forward. Quickly.

The mindset you should have is this: the Internet personals are nothing but a pool of potential phone numbers and first dates. The more you get, the better your chances to find what you want so don’t waste your time on virtual romance!. You need to get her phone number and get her on a date as soon as possible. If you can’t get the digits after the third or fourth email, chances are you will never get it!

You want to know how to get the digits? Ah… but it’s so simple…

After you answer her questions in the second email, you end it with a sentence like this:

“Lisa, how about we have a little chat sometime?”

She will most likely reply with: “I’d love to talk to you sometime” but will probably not give you her phone number (yes… they like to play games… who can blame them?).

It’s time for you to get cute. End your next email with:

“I’d like to talk to you but you’ll have to help me out by filling in the blanks… (xxx) xxx-xxxx”

Chapter 4 – The First Phone Call

I don’t think there are any misconceptions here so let’s make it very clear: the purpose of the first phone call is to close for a date.

Call her a day or two after getting her number. Don’t play the 4 day game here… you’ve never met her and you don’t know if you want her so there’s no point in delaying the process. Call during the evening but not too late (8pm works fine).

If someone answers the phone, ask to speak with her (don’t assume she’s the one picking up the phone). Then introduce yourself (“Hi, this is K”), make minimal small talk and proceed with the close. You want to shoot for a short, casual date. Lunch works best and so does “meeting for coffee or drinks after work”. The point is that you have to make sure you won’t get stuck if SweetCherry turns out to be a BitterLemon.

If you get the machine, leave a short message: “Hi Lisa! This is K! I wanted to talk to you but you’re not there, so why don’t you give me a call when you come back? My phone number is xxx-xxxx. Talk to you soon.”.

Of course, DON’T call again! If you don’t hear back from her within a week, chances are she changed her mind about you. Bummer… FOR HER!

Chapter 5 – The First Date

When you finally meet her you will immediately know if there’s a chance or not. If there is, practice your DJ skills and set up a longer, more open-ended second date. If there is no chance in hell you will want this lady, be courteous and show her a good time nevertheless. After all, she made the same effort as you did and deserves to be treated respectfully. At the end of the date tell her that she’s a very nice girl but not really what you’re looking for and wish her luck in finding Mr. Right.

I hope this helps!

The strip club.  Where every man is considered equal…unless he’s a ballplayer or a rapper, then that kinda goes down a bit.  But they are nice places to go if you desire to feel the touch of a beautiful woman.  What? You’ve never been to a strip club?  Or you have been, but your experience has been kinda blah?  Well, we’re going to guide you to having yourself a great time at the strip club of your choice.  Make sure you choose a reputable establishment with beautiful girls inside.  Check out their website to see if its worth going to, and what kind of reviews it has received.

This foray to the strip club is going to be different for you.  Save up at least $500.00 if you don’t have it readily available.  Buy a money clip…whipping out a billfold is so amateurish.  Get a nice, dark colored suit.  You’re going to rock the no tie, open button white shirt.  Nice, shiny shoes.  This way, you will set yourself apart from the regulars dressed in jeans and t-shirts.  You’ll look like somebody important, which will get you favorable attention from the dancers there.  And turn off your cell phone and don’t take it out ever.  Cameras phones are frowned upon here and you are not Pacman Jones. You will get that ass tossed out of the club.

When you get to the door to pay the cover charge, tip the door person a fiver and ask them who is performing tonight.  You may not know these girls from the Los Angeles Sparks roster, but go along with it.  Walk in and stop at the entrance.  Take a few moments to survey the scene.  Look in the crowd to see who the dancers are with.  now, take a seat, but not near the stage.  When the waitress comes by, get something like a rum and coke.  You want to keep your wits about you, plus getting beer takes away from the “sophisticated” image.  Give her a compliment and a five dollar tip.  Tell her to make sure you don’t dry out, and she’ll make sure of that.  Waitresses are sometimes cuter than the dancers, but the other patrons know this, so they get hit on a lot.

Watch the dancers on stage, but don’t go up to give them bills just yet.  Watch at least three girls and see which one might give an excellent lap dance.  If you’re lucky (or did your research and planned it), they may have a featured dancer like a porn star or something.  Sometime soon, you’ll be approached by a dancer, who’ll compliment you on your suit. Spark a convo with her and use humor…girls love a guy with a sense of humor.  When she asks if you want a lap dance, politely decline but have her come back later if you like her.  Mention that you don’t want to hold her up from her rounds and to come back when she has time and drinks are on you.

Head to the stage whenever a dancer comes out that catches your eye.  Act casually and not like a lecherous fop sticking your tongue out and making crass remarks.  Let her do her thing.  Smile, but don’t touch.  Leave her a five dollar bill instead of the singles everyone else leaves.  Also throw in a naughty wink.  She’ll come and hunt you down later.  When she makes her thank you rounds, buy her a drink and chat her up.  Keep it lighthearted and funny and don’t try to get her real name.  Dancers prefer to maintain their “identity” in the club and keep their life in the outside world completely separate, in order to deter potential stalkers.  When she asks if you want a dance, tease her a bit about it, then agree to it.  Settle for a two-song minimum and follow her orders.  And enjoy yourself.

You’ll probably run into the first girl that approached you.  Have a drink with her and watch the girls on stage.  Give her some singles to give to her fellow girls on stage.  When she comes back, imply that you’ll be getting your dance from her soon.  Ask her a little more about herself.  One of the good things about the strip club is that if you have trouble talking to women, you can work on that here.  Go ahead and get the dance from the girl.

If they have a featured performer, she’ll probably garner the brunt of attention from the crowd, especially if she’s a porn star.  Let them toss their money on stage.  Grab the waitress and ask what the girl likes to drink.  She should know if the girl has been to the club before.  Order one and have it ready for when she’s done on stage.  And buy your waitress a shot if she accepts.  When the feature girl gets her drink and sees it’s from you, she’ll come up to you and thank you.  Offer her another one and request a lap dance.  To make things more saucy (and if you can afford it), corral any one of the girls you got a dance from earlier and buy HER a lap dance after yours.  A porn star on another girl is frickin hot.

Once you had your fun, thank your waitress.  Buy her a rose from the rose lady that goes around the place.  If you think he did a great job, buy the DJ a drink.  Leave the club; don’t leave right at closing time.  Now you’ve had a good strip club experience.

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Hopefully you’re one of the 9 out of 10 guys who believe that a girl should always come first.  Not just in terms of chivalry, but in carnal matters of the flesh.  You should be fairly proficient in giving a girl good head.  Yes, it’s great if she goes down first to deliver a killer BJ, but there will be times in which you’ll have to return the favor or start the game yourself.  because you start griping about smell and taste, consider these things.  Unless she’s a strung out coke whore from the back streets,  the majority of women will not smell terrible.  As far as taste, it is something that you can easily get used to.  But if you are still iffy, you can buy flavored lubricant.  Using stuff like honey or cherry syrup may not mix well with the girl’s inner juices. If you have a girl to practice on,  consider this her lucky day.   Or you can go to one of those sex shops and buy one of those “silicon vaginas”.   Practice this in private. This guide is designed for you to have your girl come at least three times before you stick it in her.  Sounds unusual and unreasonable, but she’ll absolutely adore you for it.  For quickies, you can break them down according to the position you’re in.  And, of course, if you have all the time in the world, it helps tremendously if you are able to get in some good foreplay before you head downtown.  Remember that.

1) GIRL LYING ON BACK, YOUR HEAD BETWEEN HER LEGS

Place your hands under her booty with her pushing her hips upwards.   Put a little spit on your tongue and slide it up and down from the bottom to the top of her slit.  Slow strokes like you’re painting…wax on, wax off like Karate Kid.  Do this for about a minute.  Now stick one finger halfway into her vagina, then start slowly licking the top half of her box around the clit.  Take your other hand and prop up her ass.  Do this for about three minutes. Alternate your licks with horizontal and vertical ones.  After a minute of that, insert your finger all the way in.  Get a feel and sense of her sugar walls.   She should be aroused enough that her clit should be engorged and poking out of its hood.  Focus your licking directly on the clit.  After a couple minutes of that, insert a second finger in her.  She’ll be moaning in delight (NOTE: Some girls are quiet as church mice during this, so don’t let that deter you if she’s not screaming at the top of her lungs).  Pay attention to how she moves her hips.  She may put her hand on the top of your head.  If she messes up your hair, fix it later. With the pads of the fingers inside of her facing towards the ceiling, feel around for a rough feeling patch about a half inch from the entrance.  Once you find it, rub it out.  Start gently, then start applying more pressure and rhythm.  Place your lips around the entire clit and gently suck on like a tiny lollipop.  Try to match the intensity of your sucking with the stroking of the fingers.   Do this until she has her orgasm, which you’ll know she has by the contractions felt around her fingers.  Don’t panic, she won’t break your fingers.  Keep going until her orgasm subsides.

2) YOU ON YOUR BACK, GIRL STRADDLES YOUR FACE

In this position the girl cops a squat onto your mug.  Place your arms outside and up over her thighs so that you can touch your nose with your fingers.  Slide your tongue between the folds of her pussy.  You could just stick out your tongue and move your head up and down if you like.  Do this for about three to four minutes.  She probably grab your head and hold on tight. Take your left thumb and index finger and pull back her clitoral hood.  Stick your tongue directly into her pussy…you don’t have to go all the way in unless you’re gifted like Gene Simmons.  Use your right thumb, put some spit on it ( better still, let her do it), and gently rub at her clit.  She’ll grind down on your tongue in ecstasy, so try to keep it in there for about three minutes. Now use your thumbs to push back her hood and lick away at her clit until she comes. For the infamous 69 position, have her facing your feet and lower her upper body near your crotch.  Her pussy is reversed, so take your thum and index of your right hand and shape it like a horseshoe.  Use the fingers to part the lips around the vaginal opening.  Lick around the opening for a few minutes. Tuck your hand under her leg and reach under to pull back her clitoral hood.  Adjust your head for comfort.  Stick your tongue and flap your bottom jaw so that your tongue slides over the exposed clit.  For an added bonus, take your other thumb, spit on it, and circle her asshole with the pad of your thumb.  Keep at it until she comes.  She’ll probably be so aroused that she’ll pull your pecker out and start sucking.

3)BACKDOOR PLEASURING

Have your girl lying face down with her hips raised up.  If you like, you can put a pillow under her tummy.   Maneuver your face to her box and slide your tongue through her folds for a couple of minutes.  Then move your face downward some..she may have to raise up a liitle…so that your tongue can access her clit with no problem.  Lick away at it until it gets bigger.  Alternate licking on it and sucking it into your mouth until she comes.  To add some zing to it, take your free lubed finger and circle around her asshole.  Don’t penetrate, just make circles around it.

4) PERPENDICULAR POSITION

For those of you who flunked geometry, perpendicular means she lies horizontally and you approach vertically.  This is best done on a sofa, but can be done just as well on a bed or backseat of a vehicle.  Have her lay on side facing you…let’s say her head is at 3:00 and her feet are at 9:00.  Have her lift her right leg upward so you can access her goodies.  Tilt your head towards her feet and slowly brush your tongue between the folds of her box.  Your free hand can roam her body.  Do this till her clit gets engorged. Move your head upward till the tip of your tongue is flush with her vaginal opening.  Stick your tongue downwards into her pussy.  Rock your head gently as if you were tongue fucking her (well, in a sense, you are).  Take the thumb of your right hand, spit on it, and rub away at her clit gently.  Do this for about three minutes. Now take your left hand and make a gun sign with the index and middle fingers.  Now shoot her.  Don’t do that.  Take those fingers and gently insert them into her vagina.  Gently move your fingers up and down inside of her, keeping them in there.  Take your right hand and pull back her clitoral hood.  Begin sucking on the clit.  The more she responds to it, increase the intensity until she comes.

5) MY PERSONAL FAVORITE — THE TIGER DRIVER

Named after a pro wrestling move called Tiger Driver ‘91, this involves you sitting down with legs open and the girl seated Tantric style with her legs on top of yours.  Have her scoot back and place her legs on your shoulders.  Have her scoot forward and raise her crotch to your face.  Wrap your arms around her legs.  Use the thumb and index of right hand like a horseshoe and part her lips at the vagina opening.  Lower your head and lick the opening.  Take your left finger and index, lube up the tips, and roll her clit between your fingertips.  Once it gets bigger, feel alongside the hood and pull at the clitoral body.  It’ll be like you’re jacking her off.  Takes a bit of a grip, but once you get it, she’ll love it.  Keep at it until she comes.  Careful though that her head isn’t tilted all the way down, as the blood rush from the orgasm could cause the girl to pass out.  Then you’ll be truly memorable. Master these techniques and you’ll be on your way to being a muff diving magician.  Whoa, that was corny.

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