Hopefully you’re one of the 9 out of 10 guys who believe that a girl should always come first.  Not just in terms of chivalry, but in carnal matters of the flesh.  You should be fairly proficient in giving a girl good head.  Yes, it’s great if she goes down first to deliver a killer BJ, but there will be times in which you’ll have to return the favor or start the game yourself.  because you start griping about smell and taste, consider these things.  Unless she’s a strung out coke whore from the back streets,  the majority of women will not smell terrible.  As far as taste, it is something that you can easily get used to.  But if you are still iffy, you can buy flavored lubricant.  Using stuff like honey or cherry syrup may not mix well with the girl’s inner juices. If you have a girl to practice on,  consider this her lucky day.   Or you can go to one of those sex shops and buy one of those “silicon vaginas”.   Practice this in private. This guide is designed for you to have your girl come at least three times before you stick it in her.  Sounds unusual and unreasonable, but she’ll absolutely adore you for it.  For quickies, you can break them down according to the position you’re in.  And, of course, if you have all the time in the world, it helps tremendously if you are able to get in some good foreplay before you head downtown.  Remember that.

1) GIRL LYING ON BACK, YOUR HEAD BETWEEN HER LEGS

Place your hands under her booty with her pushing her hips upwards.   Put a little spit on your tongue and slide it up and down from the bottom to the top of her slit.  Slow strokes like you’re painting…wax on, wax off like Karate Kid.  Do this for about a minute.  Now stick one finger halfway into her vagina, then start slowly licking the top half of her box around the clit.  Take your other hand and prop up her ass.  Do this for about three minutes. Alternate your licks with horizontal and vertical ones.  After a minute of that, insert your finger all the way in.  Get a feel and sense of her sugar walls.   She should be aroused enough that her clit should be engorged and poking out of its hood.  Focus your licking directly on the clit.  After a couple minutes of that, insert a second finger in her.  She’ll be moaning in delight (NOTE: Some girls are quiet as church mice during this, so don’t let that deter you if she’s not screaming at the top of her lungs).  Pay attention to how she moves her hips.  She may put her hand on the top of your head.  If she messes up your hair, fix it later. With the pads of the fingers inside of her facing towards the ceiling, feel around for a rough feeling patch about a half inch from the entrance.  Once you find it, rub it out.  Start gently, then start applying more pressure and rhythm.  Place your lips around the entire clit and gently suck on like a tiny lollipop.  Try to match the intensity of your sucking with the stroking of the fingers.   Do this until she has her orgasm, which you’ll know she has by the contractions felt around her fingers.  Don’t panic, she won’t break your fingers.  Keep going until her orgasm subsides.

2) YOU ON YOUR BACK, GIRL STRADDLES YOUR FACE

In this position the girl cops a squat onto your mug.  Place your arms outside and up over her thighs so that you can touch your nose with your fingers.  Slide your tongue between the folds of her pussy.  You could just stick out your tongue and move your head up and down if you like.  Do this for about three to four minutes.  She probably grab your head and hold on tight. Take your left thumb and index finger and pull back her clitoral hood.  Stick your tongue directly into her pussy…you don’t have to go all the way in unless you’re gifted like Gene Simmons.  Use your right thumb, put some spit on it ( better still, let her do it), and gently rub at her clit.  She’ll grind down on your tongue in ecstasy, so try to keep it in there for about three minutes. Now use your thumbs to push back her hood and lick away at her clit until she comes. For the infamous 69 position, have her facing your feet and lower her upper body near your crotch.  Her pussy is reversed, so take your thum and index of your right hand and shape it like a horseshoe.  Use the fingers to part the lips around the vaginal opening.  Lick around the opening for a few minutes. Tuck your hand under her leg and reach under to pull back her clitoral hood.  Adjust your head for comfort.  Stick your tongue and flap your bottom jaw so that your tongue slides over the exposed clit.  For an added bonus, take your other thumb, spit on it, and circle her asshole with the pad of your thumb.  Keep at it until she comes.  She’ll probably be so aroused that she’ll pull your pecker out and start sucking.

3)BACKDOOR PLEASURING

Have your girl lying face down with her hips raised up.  If you like, you can put a pillow under her tummy.   Maneuver your face to her box and slide your tongue through her folds for a couple of minutes.  Then move your face downward some..she may have to raise up a liitle…so that your tongue can access her clit with no problem.  Lick away at it until it gets bigger.  Alternate licking on it and sucking it into your mouth until she comes.  To add some zing to it, take your free lubed finger and circle around her asshole.  Don’t penetrate, just make circles around it.

4) PERPENDICULAR POSITION

For those of you who flunked geometry, perpendicular means she lies horizontally and you approach vertically.  This is best done on a sofa, but can be done just as well on a bed or backseat of a vehicle.  Have her lay on side facing you…let’s say her head is at 3:00 and her feet are at 9:00.  Have her lift her right leg upward so you can access her goodies.  Tilt your head towards her feet and slowly brush your tongue between the folds of her box.  Your free hand can roam her body.  Do this till her clit gets engorged. Move your head upward till the tip of your tongue is flush with her vaginal opening.  Stick your tongue downwards into her pussy.  Rock your head gently as if you were tongue fucking her (well, in a sense, you are).  Take the thumb of your right hand, spit on it, and rub away at her clit gently.  Do this for about three minutes. Now take your left hand and make a gun sign with the index and middle fingers.  Now shoot her.  Don’t do that.  Take those fingers and gently insert them into her vagina.  Gently move your fingers up and down inside of her, keeping them in there.  Take your right hand and pull back her clitoral hood.  Begin sucking on the clit.  The more she responds to it, increase the intensity until she comes.

5) MY PERSONAL FAVORITE — THE TIGER DRIVER

Named after a pro wrestling move called Tiger Driver ‘91, this involves you sitting down with legs open and the girl seated Tantric style with her legs on top of yours.  Have her scoot back and place her legs on your shoulders.  Have her scoot forward and raise her crotch to your face.  Wrap your arms around her legs.  Use the thumb and index of right hand like a horseshoe and part her lips at the vagina opening.  Lower your head and lick the opening.  Take your left finger and index, lube up the tips, and roll her clit between your fingertips.  Once it gets bigger, feel alongside the hood and pull at the clitoral body.  It’ll be like you’re jacking her off.  Takes a bit of a grip, but once you get it, she’ll love it.  Keep at it until she comes.  Careful though that her head isn’t tilted all the way down, as the blood rush from the orgasm could cause the girl to pass out.  Then you’ll be truly memorable. Master these techniques and you’ll be on your way to being a muff diving magician.  Whoa, that was corny.

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